An Amazing Challenge

This program presents a lot of challenges, academically, socially, personally, and professionally. However, depending on how you work through and look at challenges, this program can either be discouraging or deeply gratifying. Personally, I dealt differently with each category of challenges. In each obstacle there was hidden a lesson, an opportunity, or a chance for growth, and in each gift there was a difficulty, a misunderstanding, or something wholly unexpected. I found this true across my academic, personal, and professional experiences.
No matter how you deal with challenges, your Chinese will greatly improve being abroad. Even if you don't work very hard at it, or go out of your way to use it (though i recommend you do) it will improve consistently and drastically. I was really pushed to improve and constantly practice my language skills. The class met daily and often had a lot of homework. I spent hours everyday working on reading, writing, speaking, and listening solely for my course work. However, the positive side of that was that my Chinese language ability improved drastically throughout my time abroad. I found every day that something I was learning in class was applicable to my daily life in Shanghai. I could immediately put to use what I was learning, which felt deeply gratifying. Additionally, living in China pushed me to use Chinese daily – whether with my roommate, other students, store-clerks, or strangers – and it was often both rewarding and difficult to navigate social situations with my limited linguistic ability. I was frequently frustrated and disappointed in myself for being unable to express ideas or intentions effectively, but this ultimately motivated me to learn and engage with the language even more.
Personally, I had to act more self-sufficiently and independently and really have faith and trust in my abilities. Daily I encountered difficulties adapting to a new culture and environment, even up to my last day. It was difficult to think positively about this. It was great having a Chinese roommate, and the other American students were all very supportive, but really creating a space that felt like home was a definite challenge, and one I never fully solved. That said, I still loved the city and was always excited to explore, but I never fully settled into life in Shanghai.
However, through all my time abroad, the most valuable thing I learned is that anything is possible if I trust myself and take the leap. The hardest and scariest thing about going abroad for me was getting on the plane. That isn't to say I didn't have difficulties, because there is a lot that felt or seemed impossible about being abroad: little things like buying clean supplies or ordering food in a restaurant. For several weeks I felt like everything was just out of reach, and there were times I wanted to come home. There were also amazing moments, great friends, wonderful strangers, and a unique beauty in deeply realizing that every second, across the world, everyone is really just doing their best.
The same can be said of life in general – good days and bad days – and, in a very literal way, being abroad was my life, every day, and with that came all manner of sorrow and satisfaction. But the hardest thing by far was the fear and uncertainty as I was leaving and transitioning from one home to another. In that liminal suspended space, I felt listless and lonelier than ever, my mind thinking over every worst-case scenario. But once I landed, none of those horrible things came true. I was met welcomingly and warmly, and in the end, I realized that all I had to do was get on the plane and after that, I just had to deal with things as they came. Going abroad has made me feel like I can do anything, no matter how difficult, as long as I can find the courage to get on the plane.