Unsafe and traumatizing

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I hope it will save at least one person from future, unforgivable damage. I went to the API program in London this past Spring and it was everything but safe and fun. I was in a co-ed flat with two guys and three girls. I ended up being raped by one of the guys. When I opened up to the program to let them know that I felt unsafe and traumatized, they didn’t care about what was best for me, a victim of rape, they only cared about what was best for their program. The only thing they did right was move him out of my flat, which was a given anyways. Other than that they said and did things that have haunted me everyday since. They moved him to another flat in the complex with a shared gym, lobby, and laundry room. Since we were living in the same complex I feared everyday that I would see him. I never wanted to leave my room and when I did do simple things, such as, laundry, I had to always have someone to accompany me. Things that they said were “we have to think about his mental health too, he’s very distraught from this.” This was devastating as they were acknowledging his “mental damage” for getting caught, but not mine of having my life ruined. I’m not trying to be dramatic when I say that. I get sharp flashbacks everyday of the situation to the point that I can’t function and uncontrollably cry. This happened 5 months ago and it will be something that will stick with me for my whole entire life. Their lack of empathy and action towards the situation was repulsing. They covered all of their bases to make sure that they weren’t legally in the wrong, but they were. They kept him in the program and verbally invalidated my experience so much that I questioned the goodness of the world. I was supposed to have a positive life changing experience as I was abroad. However, I can only say that my experience was negatively life changing. They said so many invalidating responses to me that I have tried to block them out of my mind as they were so damaging to my mental health. Every now and then their statements will creep back in and I will regress from my mental progress. I never went to the police because I thought “if this program doesn’t believe me because of the lack of evidence then why would the police?” I want people to be aware that their code of conduct does not line up with their actions. I suggest that if you want to feel safe, find another program, or at the very least, do not agree to a co-ed dorm.